my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
