The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize
