I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
