my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
