I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
