Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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