the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
