The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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