Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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