She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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