hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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