he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
