should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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