I molested 6 butterflies tonight
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
