dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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