Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize