I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
