I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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