big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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