I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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