just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize