My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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