Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
