We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
