K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
