So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
