I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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