We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
you didnt know i had herpes?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
