i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
The ass gains better be worth it
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
