Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
