even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
