Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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