Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
