Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
