the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
