The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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