I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
