Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
