let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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