how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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