Little spoons don't ask big questions
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
The power of my boobs compel you
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
