Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
