The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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