at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
