Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
