I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
