I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Dignity is for republicans.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
