She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
