They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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