loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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