I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
