If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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