I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize