so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
