Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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