His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize