Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
